Status of Parents in Islam. In the Light of Qur’an, Hadith, and Classical Scholars. Dr Shabir Choudhry, London.

 Status of Parents in Islam.

In the Light of Qur’an, Hadith, and Classical Scholars

 

Dr Shabir Choudhry, London.

 

Love, Service, and Obedience

Islam gives an exceptionally high status to parents, recognising the different but complementary roles of the mother and father. Both deserve respect, gratitude, and kindness, yet Islamic teachings highlight the unique sacrifices of the mother while also emphasising the authority and responsibility of the father within the family structure.

Although both parents have different roles, Islam urges Muslims to be kind and respectful to both parents, even if they are non-believers. The Holy Qur’an frequently mentions obedience to Allah immediately followed by kindness to parents, indicating their elevated status.

1. Qur’anic Verses on Kindness to Parents

Surah Al-Isra (17:23–24)

“Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you show kindness to parents. If one or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them even ‘uff’, nor repel them, but speak to them a noble word.

 

And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say: My Lord, have mercy upon them as they raised me when I was small.”

Commentary of Ibn Kathir

Ibn Kathir explains that this verse shows:

• Kindness to parents comes immediately after worship of Allah
• Even minor irritation (such as saying “uff”) is prohibited
• Children must show humility, patience, and gratitude
• Prayer for parents is part of righteousness

He emphasises that serving parents is among the greatest acts of worship after Tawḥīd.

Surah Luqman (31:14)

“We have commanded man to be good to his parents. His mother carried him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning was in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents.”

Explanation

This verse highlights the special sacrifices of the mother, particularly:

• pregnancy difficulties
• childbirth pain
• nursing and care

Scholars say this is why the mother receives greater emphasis in companionship and service.

Surah Al-Ahqaf (46:15)

“His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship…”

Again, the Qur’an emphasises the mother’s physical and emotional sacrifice.

2. Hadith on the status of the mother

Hadith: The mother mentioned three times

Narrated in Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim:

A man asked the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ:

“Who is most deserving of my good companionship?”

The Prophet said: “Your mother.”

The man asked: then who?

He said: “Your mother.”

He asked: then who?

He said: “Your mother.”

He asked: then who?

He said: “Your father.”

Scholarly explanation

Scholars explain that the mother is mentioned three times because of:

• pregnancy
• childbirth
• breastfeeding
• upbringing

Each stage involves a significant sacrifice.

Hadith: Paradise under the feet of mothers

Reported in Sunan al-Nasa’i:

“Paradise lies under the feet of mothers.”

Meaning:

Serving the mother sincerely leads to great spiritual reward.

3. Hadith on the Status of the Father

Islam also emphasises the importance of the father.

The Prophet ﷺ said:

“The father is the middle gate of Paradise; so, keep to this gate or lose it.”

Reported in Jami` at-Tirmidhi

This indicates that respect for the father is also a means of attaining Paradise.

4. Balanced Obedience to Parents

Surah Luqman (31:15)

“But if they strive to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them, but keep their company in this world with kindness.”

This verse establishes an important principle:

• Obedience to parents is required
• But not if it involves disobedience to Allah
• Even in disagreement, kindness must continue

5. Views of Classical Scholars

Ibn Kathir

Ibn Kathir states:

• Kindness to parents is among the greatest obligations in Islam
• Disrespect towards parents is among the major sins
• Dutifulness to parents is second only to the worship of Allah

He highlights that Islam emphasises gentle speech, humility, and patience, especially in old age when parents may become more dependent.

Al-Ghazali

In Ihya Ulum al-Din, Al-Ghazali explains:

Children must show:

• Humility before parents
• patience with their temperament
• gratitude for upbringing
• willingness to serve them

He emphasises that a person should:

• not raise their voice above their parents
• not walk ahead of them arrogantly
• Do not ignore their needs

According to Al-Ghazali, obedience to parents develops humility, which strengthens faith and character.

6. Different but Complementary Roles

Islam recognises different roles within the family structure:

Mother

• compassion and emotional development
• nurturing and early education
• physical sacrifice

Father

The father’s role includes guidance and authority, but Islam does not allow harshness or injustice. Obedience to parents is required as long as it does not involve disobedience to God.

• financial responsibility
• protection
• moral guidance
• discipline

Both roles are essential for a balanced society.

7. Key Islamic Principle

A well-known principle in Islamic ethics:

Respect both parents

Serve the mother more

Honour the father’s responsibility. END.