Raising Children and the Guidance of Allah, Dr Shabir Choudhry, London.

 Raising Children and the Guidance of Allah

Dr Shabir Choudhry, London.

These days, a great deal is said about raising children, particularly by those whose children turn out to be well-behaved, successful and obedient. They proudly say that their children are well-educated and fortunate because they brought them up properly.

A question comes to my mind: Does a child’s character and future depend entirely on parental upbringing, or does guidance from Allah Almighty also play a role?

Prophet Adam (peace be upon him) was a prophet of Allah and the father of all humanity. One of his two sons rebelled and killed his own brother. Can we say that Prophet Adam raised his two sons differently? Or does this incident remind us that, despite good upbringing, a person may still choose the wrong path?

Prophet Noah (peace be upon him) was also a prophet of Allah. Yet his son did not believe and, despite his father’s advice, could not escape the punishment that came from Allah. Does this mean that Prophet Noah failed in raising his son? Or does it show that even a parent’s best efforts cannot guarantee that their children will follow the same path?

Similarly, Muawiyah was a well-known Companion of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and later became a caliph. His son Yazid’s character and the events of his rule, particularly the tragedy of Karbala, have been strongly criticised in Islamic history, although some aspects of that period remain subjects of historical debate. This raises an important question: Can a father’s religious standing, status or efforts to raise his children guarantee that his children will also grow up to be people of good character?

Why do we sometimes forget that guidance ultimately rests with Allah Almighty? A human being is responsible for raising children well, teaching them the difference between right and wrong, encouraging good character and setting a positive example. However, parents do not have complete control over another person’s heart or every decision that person makes.

Allah Almighty says in the Qur’an:

“Indeed, you do not guide whom you like, but Allah guides whom He wills.” (Surah Al-Qasas, 28:56)

This verse reminds us that our efforts and advice are important, but we cannot make another person accept guidance.

We should therefore concentrate on raising our children well, without becoming proud and assuming that every success they achieve is solely the result of our upbringing. Equally, if a child chooses the wrong path, it is not necessarily fair to hold the parents solely responsible in every case.

Parents are responsible for making the effort, providing a good upbringing and showing their children the right path. But choosing whether to follow that path is an individual decision, while true guidance comes from Allah Almighty.

We human beings are responsible for providing a good upbringing and protecting our children and families, but there is only so much we can do. Allah Almighty says:

O believers! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, overseen by formidable and severe angels, who never disobey whatever Allah orders—always doing as commanded.

Surah 66, Ayah 6